Day 7 and counting...

Warning: This is a very personal and quite disgusting post, so you can skip it if you don't want to or don't know me that well period. But...it is quite entertaining...

So possibly the most uncomfortable aspect about recovering from surgery, was the fact that I was constipated. By the time I had gotten home, I had not gone no. 2 in 4 days. I thought this was not good, and did my best to go. I sat on the toilet for several minutes, but everytime I engaged certain muscles, my back would hurt like no other. Great. Just great. I have a broken back AND I'm going to die from constipation or infection of the intestines or something.

So my mother bought prunes. And metamucil. And I took laxatives. Nothing worked. Day 7, still no sign of No. 2. So my mom went to Uwajimaya (local asian grocery store) and bought the Chinese diet tea that makes you go the restroom all the time. I drank one bag. Nothing. I drank another bag. Nothing. This was not good. This was definitely not normal. I didn't feel good. I felt like I could explode. Trips to the bathroom were disappointing and uncomfortable. I could have had backissues of SI and ESPN the magazine in there, and nothing would have happened. I thought..Shit!...not literally...but Shit!

Day 8...So Tuesday night I asked my roommate Kelsey to call her mother, who was a nurse health practitioner, asking her if there was any way I could release the bloated feeling that I was having. She gave us two recommendations: Ducolax, up the butt style, and Fleet, an enema. Mom went to Walgreens and returned with the two packages. The Fleet system looked complicated and very invasive. The Ducolax was slightly disturbing as well, but less invasive. My mom had the unfortunate duty of sticking the Ducolax in me. Great. I was supposed to keep it in as long as possible. At this point I was praying that it would work and that I wouldn't have to go to the Fleet system.

Within 30 minutes, I was on the toilet, relieving the pressure from my body. It was PURE BLISSS!!!!

From then on, I vowed never EVER EVER EVER to become constipated again. I haven't been since. I never will be. Take your metamucil folks! Eat your fiber! Go regularly folks! Your bowel is counting on you!!!!